50 Shades of Abuse Flyer - Canada
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Okay. I understood all the flack Twilight got for being an abusive relationship. Because it was and it was being read by a very young and impressionable audience. But ffs, 50 Shades is an ADULT NOVEL. Iit is about a BDSM couple. Which - newsflash - do exist. It is a completely consensual form of dominate/submissive sex play. The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim. I don’t recall Anastasia, or whatever she’s called, protesting to Christian’s form of sex. If I remember correctly, she quite enjoyed it! So before you condemn a work of romanticized fiction, actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction.
so i guess you didn’t read the parts where he coerces her and the part where he continues after she has used her safeword and acts like a fucking creep whenever they aren’t having sex
it is the worst possible introduction to BDSM i could imagine
i know my shit okay
im hoping the people defending this book are 1. never getting into BDSM 2. not currently into BDSM 3. havent read the book bc i dont want to believe anyone is that fucking stupid
knowledge on you right now.
Wanna know the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.
So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.
Safe - In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive asshole who really can’t take no for an answer.
Sane - One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN FUCKING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should fucking know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.
Consensual - Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a fucking contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her asshole and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me fucking started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.
Fuck. This. book. It’s written in a shitty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstanding, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.
Silver lining: at least, somewhere along the line, someone fixed the ‘with’.
“There are a few items I need. To start with, I’d like some cable ties,” he murmurs, his gray eyes cool but amused. […]
“Is there anything else?”
“I’d like some masking tape.”
“Are you redecorating?” The words are out before I can stop them. Surely he hires laborers or has staff to help him decorate?
“No, not redecorating,” he says quickly then smirks, and I have the uncanny feeling that he’s laughing at me. […]
“Anything else?” My voice is husky and breathy. His eyes widen slightly.
“Some rope, I think.”
This is the scene in which Christian shows up at Ana’s work unexpectedly, in order to buy some things. The whole exchange bothers me a little. Here’s why:
1. Most people reading this are aware that Christian is using these items for his sexcapades. Ana, however, is not aware of this. She is also unbelievably sexually naive, so the thought wouldn’t cross her mind at this point.
2. Christian openly admits he is not redecorating as he buys rope, cable ties, and masking tape. Oh, and some coveralls on Ana’s recommendation, because he wouldn’t want to get his clothes dirty.
3. Ana describes Christian as a control freak, says he makes her uncomfortable, calls him intimidating, says he is scary, and at one point wonders if his words are a veiled threat.
Bearing these three points in mind… how on EARTH is one of her multiple internal voices not screaming ‘SERIAL KILLER!’ at her?! I was thinking it, and I already knew what the stuff was for. This is a guy she has met only twice. She barely knows him, is scared of him, and sees him buying rope, cable ties, tape and coveralls which are not for DIY purposes. I have to wonder why she did not immediately do this:
His voice is warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel… or something.
I think this may be the single most ridiculous sentence I have ever read. “Dark melted chocolate fudge caramel”, if such a thing exists, should not ever be described as husky. If you bite into some chocolate/fudge/caramel combination and think “mmm… husky”, there is something wrong with either your snack or your vocabulary.
Holy crap. What the hell is he doing here looking all tousled-hair and outdoorsy in his cream chunky-knit sweater, jeans, and walking boots? I think my mouth has popped open, and I can’t locate my brain or my voice.
How do you look tousled-hair? Y’know, I can’t locate your brain either, Ana.
It’s the largest independent hardware store in the Portland area, and over the four years I’ve worked here, I’ve come to know a little bit about most everything we sell – although ironically, I’m crap at any DIY. I leave all that to my dad. I’m much more of a curl-up-with-a-book-in-a-comfy-chair-by-the-fire kind of girl.
In no particular order, because I wasn’t sure where to start:
2. Working in a DIY store despite being terrible at DIY is not even a little bit ironic.
3. Being good at DIY and liking books are not mutually exclusive. Surprisingly, many people who read books actually put up their own shelves.
His long index finger presses the button summoning the elevator
This description is entirely unnecessary. I had assumed Christian had fingers. Unless they are freakishly long/unusually short, or they have something interesting or meaningful about them, there’s no real need to describe them. I also don’t particularly care which finger he uses to press buttons. Also, there’s a heck of a lot of description regarding Christian, and hardly any regarding… well, anything else.
“Mr. Grey, forgive me for interrupting, but your next meeting is in two minutes.”
“We’re not finished here, Andrea. Please cancel my next meeting.”
Andrea hesitates, gaping at him. She’s appears lost.
What an inconsiderate butthole, cancelling a meeting two minutes before it starts.
Also, the “She’s appears lost” is not any kind of typo on my part. If you can’t tell what’s wrong with it, it needs to lose the apostrophe-s. Did nobody edit this thing?